Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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