So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
