do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
