all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
