Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
this just has baby written all over it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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