stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
