I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
