put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
