she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
