ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
