K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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