he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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