She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
