Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
