Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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