As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
