My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
