she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
