Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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