Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
