That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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