Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
