If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
