OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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