Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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