girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
