Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
