forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
