I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
