Plan B is the new Plan A
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
