Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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