Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Small penises have feelings too.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
