I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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