can u get pink eye on your cock?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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