Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
