Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
