The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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