Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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