I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
