Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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