I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
