He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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