Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
