Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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