When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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