How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
