I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
