Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
