How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
