he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just high enough for therapy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
