i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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