Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Floor bacon is actually really good
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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