I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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