just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
