I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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