he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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