About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Come on in and take your pants off
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