i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
