Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
